A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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