Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There r osticjed everywhere
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
