Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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