i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
