Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
