This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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