We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
