That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
