I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
