Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
