Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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