no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
