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• (818): View more from California

  i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder

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• (509): View more from Washington

  So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  whats our policy on dating high schoolers?

  (1-231): View more from Michigan

  we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!

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