Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment