I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.