Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
