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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Dual....:-)

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  "romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.

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  Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But what if I pay for the gas?

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• (235): View more from

  I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.

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• 

  25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away

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