i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.