i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
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I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW