On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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