I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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