i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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