Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
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Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
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I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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