I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
