She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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