You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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