Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize