look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
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Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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