whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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