checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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