i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
