I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
