So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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