Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
