Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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