On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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