You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
