I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
