Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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