Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
