this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
