I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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