I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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