My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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