You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
