I can't watch pbs sober anymore
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You took a bar mat shot.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
