Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
