i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
