dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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