So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
