Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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