What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
