i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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