Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
