Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
