hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
