Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just invented taco cereal.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
