Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
