summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
