After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
