Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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