I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
