similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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