i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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