Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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