Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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