white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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