i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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