Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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