Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize