It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
