Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize